


Dirk: Accept Call

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Jane and Jake say like one line each but oh well, Muteness, kind of, mute!Dirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-04-21
Packaged: 2018-06-03 11:15:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6608581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You are Dirk fucking Strider. You're pretty sure you can handle a Skype call with your three best friends.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dirk: Accept Call

**Author's Note:**

> Dirk not being able to talk is my Most Important Headcannon™ tbh.

You are Dirk Strider and you are not nervous. At all. Why would you be? You're just sitting at your desk, waiting for everyone's connections to go through. No reason to be nervous at all. After all, it's just the first time that you all have a stable enough connection to even think about doing a face-to-face Skype call, the first time you'll be able to actually see and hear each other instead of just text on a screen. The first time any of your friends will expect to actually hear something out of you.

Okay, so you're a little nervous.

Because even though your Bro left behind all this stuff for you- movies, swords, tech that you've taken apart and put together more times than you can count, he wasn't here to raise you. Wasn't here to tuck you in at night, strife on the roof, or watch shitty movies with you. In fact, until you were old enough, about six or seven, to figure out how to work a computer through hesitant and nervous trial and error and manage to contact Roxy, you'd never even interacted with another living being. Which was a problem apparently, because going by all the ancient information about child development you'd found archived online, you're somewhat behind in the verbal communication area of your childhood development.

Simply put, you can't speak. At all.

See, your apartment is located in what used to be classified as Houston, Texas but is now the middle of the fucking ocean, with no other significant landmark around far as you can see. No other living being- human or troll- had ever entered even the peripherals of your life until you found Roxy. And apparently, according to various psychiatric journals that you'd found online, if a child isn't exposed to verbal communication during their developmental stage, there's a high chance that they might lose the ability to communicate or understand any type of language, spoken or otherwise. And while you have no problem reading, writing, and understanding the English language, you sure as fuck can't speak it.

To be fair though, you never really tried. You didn't build Sawtooth and Squarewave until you were pretty much a teenager, and speaking out loud to yourself (or Cal) just seemed unnecessary. Why talk if there's no one around to listen? Yeah, you learned how to code and type because that was your main modus of communication. But speaking never really seemed to matter to you. Even when you became interested in the ancient art of freestyle rapping, you found your way around it by using ASL that you'd taught yourself from old YouTube videos and other online tutorials. In your eyes it was actually better than rapping verbally thanks to the advantage your natural enhanced speed gave to your movements, and presented more of a challenge to boot. What good were verbal slams to you if you could sign faster than Squarewave could say "Bro"? Your fetch modus accepted the non-verbal rhymes, so you didn't see a problem.

Until today. Because how are you gonna explain to your only three (human) friends that you can't even say "Hello"? Your pride shudders at the thought. You're supposed to be the tough one, the cool kid with the superstar brother, awesome sword skills, and unbelievable rapping talent. How are they going to react when the call goes through and they find out you've been lying to them this whole time? Well, not lying really. You'd never actually said you could talk, but you never said you couldn't either. And you know your friends; they'll be pissed to find out you've been intentionally keeping this from them. They'd never be mad that you couldn't talk- they'd never hold something like that against you- but neglecting to tell them that your non-existent speaking skills left something to be desired? Yeah, this won't end well.

Honestly you're surprised it hasn't come up sooner. But you and Roxy were always too nervous to try and do a face-to-face call, aware that the Batterbitch might find your connection at any moment.  And it had never really been an option with Jane and Jake, since communicating through time via a text-chat client was complicated enough. But when Jane suggested it, everyone was excited enough that saying no wasn't an option either. So Roxy (with her incrdeible haxxor skillz) managed to get the connection set up, and now here you all are, just seconds away from your first face-to-face-to face-to-face interaction.

You hear a 'ding' come from your speakers, and look up to see a Pesterlog window from Roxy open up. You realize that you'd been lost in thought for the past few minutes, and everyone has been waiting on you.

TG: diiiiirk

TG: dirk what r u doin come on

TG: get a move on mister we got comnversaytions to be had

TG: *conversations

TG: cmon d i wanna see ur pretty face

TG: what's takin u so long????

TT: An important matter called for my attention.

TG: more importnant than seein ur friends faces for the first time??

TG: rude

TG: *important

TT: Of course not. The connection was still loading when I got called away, I didn't think it would take so long.

TG: if u say sooo

TG: just click accept on the call!!! me n jake n janey r all waitin for u!!!

Your mouse hesitated over the "accept call" button, wondering if it'd be worth it to bow out at the last second. But, as much as you don't want to deal with your own lack of verbal skills, you're honestly dying to hear the voices of the only people you'll probably ever meet.

You click to accept, and the chorus of "Hey there Strider!" and "It's good to finally see you Dirk!" and "Lookin' good Di-Stri!" that bombards you upon your appearance make the inevitable fallout worth it.

 

**Author's Note:**

> This could be so much better but I'm tired of looking at it so here.
> 
> Feel free to request more with this headcannon/AU because I wanna write shit but I have no inspo lmao.


End file.
